on being a hermit

sedated

reflecting

out-of-focus

someone screams in the hallway

I remember

there are humans here

a book falls limply from my hand

the door swings wide

people are laying on the floor

laughing at their hands

a video is playing somewhere

seemingly on a loop

but they laugh every time

I curl up like a snake

in the corner of my room

pretending I'm inside a book

running through the ink.

the feeling of frustration
is stuck in my throat
this poem is going to suck
i say and i write it anyway
i say this poems sucks dicks
and i write it anyway
this poem is a throat fuck
away from being a porn star


porn stars don't even read poetry

listening to saved voicemails from my father

1. a loud noise
I can only assume is a sneeze
"Shit"
a clicking sound
as the phone is disconnected

2. "This is Hal
The computer from
Space Odyssey 2001.
Your voicemail sounds
like a fellow computer.
Emotion reading is zero.
Are you human?
Are you human?
Press enter or delete."

3. "Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, I love you
Happy birthday to you."

my father has gone to the store
to buy me strawberry ice cream

before he left, he grabbed my toe
and called me his "little maladjusted
poet kid"

the two of us are straight out of a
Hallmark card
if Salinger wrote
Hallmark cards

fine, I admit it.

obviously, he had has enough
of scrounging, scrimping, breaking into bedrooms
billy jude, mr. bj himself, departs in a speeding car
and as he (finally) buckles his seatbelt
realizes I stole his wallet

I remember on that day, today, a song I made
'dead girls don't send emails'
listen to it w/ fear repeatedly and wonder if spilling
coffee on my keyboard might electrocute my
sad computer and me

This ain't Love, it's Land Reform

the peasants are revolting
I wonder why
we built that funny old castle
who was it supposed to keep out?

sweetheart I’m gonna miss you
but at least with the guillotine
we’ll get some kind of closure

dosvedanya my darling, my world
It’s been a real slice

chaparral
the desert opens
can I go home to
somewhere I've never been?