proof that time is non-linear

when I started high school
I was an eight year old
girl obsessed with bra straps
and makeup
what the older girls wore
I wanted someone to tell me I was pretty

sophomore year I was twenty five
old for my time
the phrase "world weary sophisticate"
always crossing its legs
on the tip of my tongue

as a junior
I was a four year old boy
I made poop jokes and screamed a lot
I laughed when people said
"duty"

senior year
I write stupid poems about love
in a journal
I use the word "heart" often
I'm a cliche
a twelve year old girl in
a young adult novel

I'm glad to note that I've matured four years
just like I was supposed to

I can't keep

biting my nails like this--

I really should cut them.

A lady on the TV is serving justice

women lined up in front of her

botox injections are shown live

and some of them tear up

in awe of their new frozen face,

or because of the pain

--I can't tell which.

I feel sick,

cut my nails.

at the door it says
give me your boring,
hipster masses

they were gladly
accepted and
everywhere was
a grave
rolled over

Grad School

sometimes I add numbers in my head and try to figure it all out

every waking second of my life apparently it's because of

how I was raised

scientists say future future future

my aunts say now now now

go crazy

I say what crazy my dad

thinks it's crazy I don't want to go to California

what the promise land is

somewhere North of there

or maybe the middle of

the ocean

profit

1. crack a can of coke

2. take a sip

3. put it on your nightstand and hope that eventually you will forget that the crackling of carbonated water, sugar, natural and artificial flavors, and caffeine against aluminum can is not raindrops hitting your roof

4. hope that eventually you will forget all sorts of things

5. roll over and try to sleep through the storm

The Jellyfish

jellyfish drift over the city
unnumbered exodus
of every color
tendrils so close
close enough to taste

the perfection of invertebrate life
this insect life
silent against hope

why return? what escape?
useless to ask
useless to know
jellyfish, silent against hope
take me with you

oh god please
take me with you