tea leaves

I look up at the leaves falling
oracles, all of them

I think the word "future"
a leaf drifts, an aimless paper plane,
through cold sunlight

doors swing open inside me
the doors to the
cage where I used to keep
the butterflies

grey cat

yeah—I trained my cat to be just like me
so he's mean, you know, he'll bite you in the face
I like to let him claw me up, the pain is nice
and the scratch marks look kind of cool

I named him Mr. Shankly, after a Smiths song
and frankly, he is an ass
grey striped, small bodied, a bundle of fear

people prolly all become their pets eventually

rises in east, sets in west

I am so scared

that one day

your eyes will glitter

as they reflect the rising sun

over the Atlantic,

and where I am it will still be dark.

And when I wake, I will only feel

the weight of the clouds

on my eyelids,

so I will go back to sleep, back to where

I can still kiss you.

You rise in the East,

I set in the West.

Called by nickname,
"Chi, they're all faggots"
Cody is quietly watching the
Bengals get their asses kicked
and resisting his laughter

I adjust my socks and wait for
my phone to light up
and move across the table

full of kinetic energy

STEINER SAID

do not only seek wisdom

you'll turn into a bitter

fool

because wisdom for wimdom's sake is like

toothache for toothache's sake

my dentist was probably an Anthroposophist

laughing gas makes us forget we are foolish

roundtree

the chemicals in her brain are all wrong
she keeps adding and subtracting more
the receipt is rolling along the floor

fresh from the most recent asphyxiation
conceptual physics becomes intoxicating
maddening at mirrors, she laments

for a time, a place, alaska
a place without wires or wifi
a place where you can't coordinate sex via txt

blowing up balloons at the zoo

the balloon tied to my wrist was
bought with my life savings
it drags on the ground behind me,
a deflated rubber pet
on a leash
asphyxiated with a ribboned
noose

I have been crying
for
fifteen minutes

my father's face
is an angry red balloon
he pulls me by the wrist
the veins on his forehead
are translucent,
the plastic color of a birthday party

I ask him,
--please do not pop

Preaching

a man stood

on a pillar of concrete

and held a tattered Bible

up like a shield

against the masses

he told them

you're all gonna burn,

they tasted blood in the water

and began to scream

Juanless tied a
cherry stem in a knot
with his tongue

My blush was artificial
when Cody closed the blinds
and insisted that we fuck

There were coyote on
the number seven hole
when I recycled the cans
that night

Puerile

I come across an empty picture
or my brother’s pale face?
What did I lose, between there?

I am turning, I see the dark pit.
an ant’s eye
a dead fruit
stains the earth

Bittersweetness
playing on my smile, widening it.
An ill night, sucking on the corner of the blanket,
I see the roof bends warm over me.

The rain comes, cold and silver.
Death will come, it will mow its ground,
it will build a ramp to you.

In my fort of hay, I killed a serpent
I placed the body on the hill
and rolled it into the stream.

I had nothing left but
a funny face on

The Sporting Life: an adaptation

At times I'm afraid
that love is like high jump

I try to think of all my details
A half-moon run
small quick step
knee up
arch back
and when it's all over
I sit up cautiously on the yellow foam mat
looking to see if the bar still balances delicately on its wobbly posts
looking to see if I did everything exactly right this time
because I never can tell
until it's all over.