if you think above the clouds i didn't hate you for putting your cup on my fold out table

and at the same time i would have grabbed you first had the plane gone down because you were old, i guess, and you could be my grandmother and tell me you

felt bad that my life was about to be "snuffed out" because i had so much un-made potential.

i would want to find someone ok with dying to hold me while we plummeted

i don't care what happens after that  

do you think these fantasies make me a miserable day 

so i can rip out my pubes later and put some pills in the water 

just to find a thing to say again