On Eating Nothing But Fish

ah, father, I wish you weren't
an engineer sometimes.
your thoughts work strangely
like a clock and if I could hear your
innermonologue I hope it wouldn't sound like
the pendulum I see swaying back and forth
when I look in your eyes.

good night to you
and the next day
good morning!
i'll perpetuate this cycle

i hate when you say toil till death
i'd rather not
die that is

and toil
well we knew all along thats what life was

it seems funny now
rocketing down this hill
pills up to my throat

I feel like a prisoner but I might just be a fetus.

I'm scared.
I live in a bubble.
I'm not content to stay here, oh no.
But I've gotten used to it, you see.

So when I leave to see the world
Will my lungs collapse?
Will by blood run thin?

I'm in here where I can't even experience the changing seasons
Or remember the months that go with them.
The world outside spins and changes
And all I hear are muffled noises.

yahrzeit candles

on Sunday
we lit birthday candles
none of us could sing
we sang anyway

my grandmother’s candle rests
on the windowsill,
a funeral pyre
where passing thoughts burn

some nights I wonder what would happen
if I turned my steering wheel
slightly to the left

we are all burn victims
we lick cake off the candles
and pretend not to notice the uninvited guest in
the room

Two girls are
Walking along sixth street
One carries a gun over her
Shoulder and the other
Is wearing purple

They are in front of
Floyd's house (red, white, wrought iron)
I don't know what this means
But I know it means something.

crows

a flock of them,

or a murder, I suppose

devours the trash we leave them

in the parking lot

I cannot hear myself thinking

over the screams

I keep thinking

someone is dying out there

something is dying out there

when we come close,

they scatter

to the rooftops

--waiting.

near midnight snack

you are an inconvenient
lie I tell to myself
at 11:23
so conveniently


your name is color
but is not the color
of your energy


we're at similar wavelengths
amplitudes and frequency
I cut off a piece of your fruit
to carry with me