Wednesday, November 30, 2011

last poem

the moon crisp like paper,
cold puts her lips against my neck

voices of this sad night
sing the end is near
yellow eyes following like headlights
as the city slips past me

pray until these bones
will break

until these roads will turn North
and lead me home
back to something that was
years of soft breathing
and the gentle creak of muscles,
flexing and stretching together
as the sun rose

the ideal lover

when I am hungry
you
feed me

when I am snoring
you
silence me

when my butt itches
you
scratch it
short lived as a moment is
is it not empty, profane love?

that word - profane love
to it I pay my debts
every line is stamped

a moment exists
breathes, likes us, 
goes on. 
to it we must comply. 
for some reason music
does not sound the same to me
as it once did
lyrics don't seem to
punch me in the gut the
way they used to
the connection is flickering
I haven't really put my hands on the piano in
a year almost
the spark has turned external it seems
realizing that
the things I write poetry and music about
that happen within me
don't grasp me
I don't find myself an interesting topic
the way I used to
that sometimes I can sob about my insecurities while my
brainface goes completely blank
expressionless
art has been leaking out of me
I cannot grasp it
the creation in me I
felt it a few days ago for the first time
did depression kill it
did I kill it
is it being reborn can I ever
play the piano
have I been killed
which lover killed me
or is it that
I am not of interest anymore so
I no longer take interest in myself
imagine if you woke up
and had grown antlers
a crown of bone
surrounding your head

High heels announce
        a concrete presence
Short skirt, short jacket
Out past 11, steaming mug
Cafe, beastbeast, sketchpad

Crash with me, sharp corner
Unbuckle your seatbelt
Unlock your ankles, spread
Yourself onto the seat
Fiddle with the stereo

I am driving 145 an hour
In my fantasy, the one with
You, a Honda, a skirt, and me

Love/Friendship/Barthes/Alcohol/Childhood Photo

On this, the wedding day,
of my oldest friend
joy, full to bursting, resolves in his gestures
this woman, his Wife
straight and curved as a flute
of champagne

On this day I am reminded
of a semiotician who once
drunkenly observed, of love,
“the other one never waits”

You who are such an authority
on loves, their hollowing,
the fullness and collapse of them,


Will you call me tomorrow after work
and ask me to come be near you?

Will we swap swigs from a bottle of red
and laugh at our stained tongues?

We scatter into pieces, so completely
intermingled
they can only resemble some Unity
quite as immune to loneliness
as the girl from the picture
who tumbles barefoot through the grass
after the ceremony

who, weightless,
never waits