not homicidal, No

man vs. himself

I said aloud to myself

(i'm a bit batty you see have been for years)

up a bit too high on my horse

a dollface! of course

'you emit waves of internal conflict'

he smiled at me

because I am completely helpless

up on my horse

I turn the light off at

12:17.

The air of the room

is still and hot.

Through the open window,

I hear the soundtrack

of a city--

ambulance wails.

man shouts.

subwoofer cracks windows.

plastic bags tumble.

It won't let me sleep,

so I get up and walk to the mirror

like a zombie.

I look at myself and say,

go to sleep

you mediocre fuckup.

4Loko is not a meal

your giant watch may glimmer in the fall sun

luck, it may be on your side, skybiker

well slept greasy hair, thick eyeliner

cursing halfgrinned, fair skin, what things to behold today

you pedalpeddle around under the impression that

an organic coffee drink brings all the bois

to the yard

you've been dreaming about Oprah again,

haven't you

"I am destined to be alone,"
He says as he drinks Miller light
Imagine him in his large, empty house
His dog resting her head on his knee
as he looks around the bedroom
and I am just so very glad that
he has shaved his mustache off.

Today was not a poem day

Preamble:
Following a profound malaise
I open up a book
here the stories are sad

Plot:
I could never be this sad
I could never be, locked in a car
mother yelling things

a piece of shit
she yells
you are worthless shit

my friend says:
my mother called me a piece of shit

I could never be as sad as a book

a teenage poem regarding 'The Stranger' in my own home

I love speaking to the world as if

it existed only so I could perceive it

my dad said 'you just don't fucking

get it. You have no idea how to understand

the world as it turns.' and I replied

as snarky as ever 'You should hear your-

self speak. You ascribe meaning to

everything and I'm an existentialist.'

I lost my shoes

Here is a grocery list of gazes you're going to have to avoid
since you want to wander in my shoes today.

Here is a new pair of shoelaces;
those will surely break from the stress.

Here is a sock.
I know it's filthy, but it's all I have on me. 

Here is a sole.
Try not to step on it.

Envenomed

he braved
great dangers

he wanted
to be valuable

bring sustenance
to his children

contribute
to his community

but he didn't know
what we knew

he was beguiled
by our deception

and what began as heroism
ended in devastation.

and that's how we solved our cockroach problem.

leap of faith (hebrews 11:1)

the fall
from my hand to the fountain
is for pennies
a suicide leap

wishes drown in the well

but leap they do
from my hands
like rain

after the last page

has been turned,

after the last fluorescent light

cools to darkness,

after the last echo

is swallowed by night,

there is nothing

but the beating of my own

green heart

--longing for the sound

of your silence

sleeping next to me

i always lock my car doors,
chain up my bicycle,
turn the deadbolt
because i don't trust anyone
in a town where V-Rod leaves his
engine running

one day
i will steal his truck
and he will learn
not to trust anyone
either