listening to saved voicemails from my father

1. a loud noise
I can only assume is a sneeze
"Shit"
a clicking sound
as the phone is disconnected

2. "This is Hal
The computer from
Space Odyssey 2001.
Your voicemail sounds
like a fellow computer.
Emotion reading is zero.
Are you human?
Are you human?
Press enter or delete."

3. "Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, I love you
Happy birthday to you."

my father has gone to the store
to buy me strawberry ice cream

before he left, he grabbed my toe
and called me his "little maladjusted
poet kid"

the two of us are straight out of a
Hallmark card
if Salinger wrote
Hallmark cards